Rollercoaster

So I've been pretty emotional lately. I can cry at the drop of a hat. It's like a super power, although I'm trying to use it for good and not evil.

I figured out that I'm sad that JR and my life together as just the two of us is coming to an end. It's been very fun. But we talked about it and I feel a bit better now.
I'm sure that we'll be able to have lots of fun with our new family but since I don't really know what that's like yet it's hard to imagine it being better than what we already have.

But I am getting excited now. Nervous about the exhaustion of the first couple weeks/months but excited too. All these baby clothes from the showers are so adorable you can't help but be a little excited. I hope she's not too big to wear the newborn onesies. They look super tiny.

Here they are drying on my new clothesline!


I'm also a little nervous about the labor and delivery. But we met our Doula last night. She seems very nice and very much at ease with the whole process, so that makes me feel more comfortable already. She uses the word "amazing" where I use the word "terrifying". Maybe it's a perspective thing. From the other side of giving birth it's amazing, from my side it's terrifying (terrifying is actually a little too strong of a word but you get the idea).
We also took our tour of the hospital and while I'm not jumping up and down with the anticipation of spending the 48+ hours there (it's definitely not a Sheraton) at least I know what to expect so that helps me feel less nervous.
Anything I can do to prevent the fear-tension-pain cycle sounds good to me.

I ride this emotional rollercoaster, hitting pretty much every emotion every day. It's kind of tiring.